Sometimes people ask me, “When did you stop being afraid?”

The answer is, “I haven’t.”

I’m still scared. Lots. I can say without any degree of exaggeration that for the last six months, I’ve had the same nightmare. Ask Jenny, she’ll tell you it’s true. One, consistent, persistent fear has been trying to set up shop in my heart.

It’s a mistake to think you will beat fear. And by beat I mean, “have zero fear the rest of your life.” When we believe that is possible we shame ourselves every time fear comes in. The truth is, you will be afraid. Just like me. Just like everyone else.

Having fear isn’t failure.

Holding onto fear is.

There is a huge difference between those two. One is natural and often out of your control. The other is largely in your control.

It’s like getting the mail. Fear shows up in the mailbox. You’ve got a choice to throw it away as soon as you walk in or to open it, obsess over it, memorize it and eventually frame it for proper display over the fireplace.

Forget that.

You will be afraid in 2014, but you don’t have to stay afraid.