The dumb mistake I made because I was afraid of the wrong people.

“My haters get to tell me how to live my life.”

I might never admit that out loud, but sometimes that’s exactly what my actions say.

Case in point, when I do a book tour, I try to be vocal about it online.

I’ve learned over the years that if you don’t tell people you’re coming to their city, they won’t come to your event. Novel thought, right? People can’t attend events they don’t know exist.

As I plan for the event, I put the information on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and my blog. Each time I do, I hear a small voice inside say, “You’re bothering people too much with your announcements. They’re tired of hearing you talk about the events. Someone is going to get mad and criticize you.” So I pull back, I flinch and start posting less. The fear of that invisible hater edits my actions.

I only emailed my readers one time about my 15-City Do Over tour. I was afraid that someone would get mad. I was afraid people would angrily unsubscribe or worse mark me down as spam. So I went to all the trouble of traveling thousands of miles across the country and only sent out one email.

One night, after I posted the photo of the event I did in Kansas City, someone tweeted, “I wish I had known you were coming to town. I would have loved to have gone.”

In that moment, I realized I was performing for my foes, not my friends. I was so worried about pleasing people who didn’t like me that I under served the people who do.

Who was I concerned about offending? One or two people who weren’t going to attend the event anyway? That’s what really kills me.

The people who don’t like what you’re creating are not the audience that matters. Trying to convince them to like you, your business or your service is a terrific waste of time. And in focusing on people who don’t like you, you often ignore the people who matter – your friends, your clients, and your fans. You end up quieting your voice to please other people.

I wrote this idea as part of a collection of essays called, “Living Loud in a World Full of Haters.” It’s a special resource you get for free when you sign up for the 30 Days of Hustle Challenge, a video course I made that teaches you how to accomplish your goals.

I taught it to 10,000 people last year and 2,500 people in January. It’s crazy what you can do when you get plugged into a private community of supporters and learn how to hustle on you dreams. Registration ends Friday night at midnight, so tomorrow I’ll probably stop talking about it.

Until then, this is your invitation. I don’t want you to miss it, you can sign up right here.

But even if you don’t, make sure that in whatever you do, you don’t let the hate get you down.

Use your voice.

You’re the only one who has it.

  • David Mike
    Posted at 06:25h, 28 January Reply

    This is so true. The voices are wrong. I thought no one wanted to hear my story. The community that Jon created, convinced me to tell it. Two and a half years later my blog has been viewed over 100,00 times and my book is almost done. Use your voice, people want to hear it. Sign up for this course, you won’t be disappointed.

  • Erika Viktor
    Posted at 08:21h, 28 January Reply

    This was a wonderfully appropriate post for me today as I have been really bothered all day by a comment someone made about my business yesterday. He shamed me into feeling bad about the thing I love the most in the world. I woke up wondering if I should quit. Then I smacked myself, thinking “Who IS this dude, anyway?” what business does he have to tell me how to feel about my business?

    I think getting past the haters is literally THE MOST important skill anyone can learn in all of life, let alone business. It is so critical!

  • Regina Sentell
    Posted at 09:30h, 28 January Reply

    I wonder how you became so wise beyond your years. Thank you for your raw honesty that is healing for the rest of us. I sometimes fight hiding my light for the same reasons. I believe that although they are very strong, it is ultimately not our haters or even the critical, internalized voice in our heads. It is ultimately the enemy of our souls who came to kill…confidence, clarity of purpose, and steal, and destroy our influence and joy. I recognize his work when I’m tempted to step back where It seems safer or out of the arena to which God calls me.
    We must fight hard to not step back but move forward with gusto!
    Post, post, post. We are blessed by you. This little light of mine ?

  • Dee
    Posted at 19:34h, 01 February Reply

    You are completely right, but it isn’t easy to put into action and has to be a conscious, deliberate choice and action.
    For a long time (25 years) I was careful of what I said and did around my extremely critical mother-in-law, trying to avoid giving her reasons to criticize me. She was on facebook as a ‘friend’ and would often leave quite negative comments to the point where several of my friends had asked me about this “nasty person”. About a month ago I was challenged by someone who suggested that I cut her out of my life. At first I was horrified because she is my husband’s mother. My challenger asked if I would associate with her if not related. Of course not, she’s quite toxic. I had allowed her to control what I said and did in her presence and I was even censoring my facebook page for fear of her. After much consideration I have taken steps to remove her from my life and will now only see her at larger family functions and have also ‘unfriended’ her. it took a lot of courage to do something so seemingly simple. I have finally realised that no matter what I do she isn’t going to like me. My choice is to limit her opportunities to pour her toxic influence over me. I can hardly express how much better I feel for finally taking this step.

  • Whitney Wagner
    Posted at 13:11h, 04 February Reply

    I get stuck on the haters all the time, and what you said is so true! Why worry about someone who doesn’t care anyway?

    That being said, I’m glad I got that one email and had the opportunity to see you speak. 🙂

  • Jenn
    Posted at 20:47h, 05 February Reply

    So you’re saying it’s okay if I send you “The Pilgrimage” newsletter number 2? Because I had those exact same thoughts about it. 😉

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