The 5 stages of hating your diet. - Jon Acuff
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-3913,single-format-standard,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode-theme-ver-11.0,qode-theme-bridge,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-5.2,vc_responsive

The 5 stages of hating your diet.

My weight tends to fluctuate by about 20 pounds.

That’s not an issue though because I’m a 6’8” linebacker in the NFL and you can barely tell. (Most of the extra weight goes to my biceps.)

Oh wait, that’s not right. I’m an average-height writer of non-fiction books.

What usually happens is that during the winter, I find a few extra pounds around the house. I eat richer foods, focus on cheese consumption and emerge from the cold weather looking like I’m wearing a sweater when I’m really not.

When you gain weight and decide to lose it, you experience the 5 stages of hating your diet.

1. Denial
I don’t need to lose weight. These pants have just shrunk. That’s all. That mirror has a weird shape, like, it has a “fat bend.” The batteries on the scale must be dying. It’s a posture thing. I need to stand straighter. A lot of it is muscle weight, probably. What does that word even mean, “diet?” Instead of focusing on my health, I’m going to just learn to accept myself. I am beautiful no matter what you say! Hear me roar. Like a firework or whatever.

2. Anger
This is so stupid! I promised myself last time that I would not gain those pounds again! Remember? I did the Carlton dance from the Fresh Prince when I hit my target weight? I was so happy! And now those stupid pounds are back. It’s not my fault! It’s the world we live in. There are a lot more products with funnels and centers now. I can’t help it that I am growing up in the golden age of ice cream having a solid center of caramel. That’s so unfair!

3. Bargaining
What if I run more? What about burpees? I see fit people always doing those on Instagram. How about that? I will work out like a maniac but still not change my diet at all. What do you say? You let me keep queso and I’ll start running all the time. I’ll commute to work via foot. I’ll get a fitbit and bit so hard! How about that? Or, I’ll eat really well but never exercise. I’ll even have kale, which tastes like wet sadness. Do we have a deal? No whammy!

4. Depression
My body hates me. How come fat never goes anywhere cool on your body? I’m just going to buy more sweaters. Bigger sweaters. I’m going to find out who sold all those pajamas that look like jeans in the Sky Mall catalog and wear those. Those things get me. Pajama pants are my friend. I am the Charlie Brown of diets. Good grief!

5. Acceptance
Fine! I’ll do it. I’ll get back on the bike and back on my healthy eating plan. I won’t keep pop tarts in the house because me and pop tarts are like Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Undeniable. And I won’t put off starting. I’ll start today. As in right now. I’m in.

I didn’t exaggerate once during this post.

If any of that sounds familiar and you’re about to make a New Year’s Resolution to get in shape, join me and a few hundred people on a new adventure.

I’ve taken thousands of people through the 30 Days of Hustle. It’s a 30-day video course that teaches you how to make better goals and get better results.

Like pants with buttons that aren’t under so much pressure they might pop off and kill a man.

The lowest prices end tonight at midnight.

Screw burpees and shame.

If you want to lose weight or write a book or declutter your house or do anything awesome, don’t miss your last chance to sign up and save! (2017 rates go into effect tomorrow.)

It’s time to get goaling!

That felt like too much at the end, but I couldn’t resist.

  • Kelly
    Posted at 18:21h, 14 December Reply
  • Moviestarplanet Hack Free
    Posted at 03:16h, 20 December Reply

    There are easy way to hack moviestarplanet game within minute. You can get free msp star coins and diamonds totally free of cost and these are 100% safe and secure for use.

  • Life Extension Coupons
    Posted at 04:35h, 11 January Reply

    When you gain weight and decide to lose it, you experience the five stages of hating your diet. I eat richer foods, focus on cheese consumption. You can gain your body then healthy diet and protein is a very important role in fitness. If you want to heavy and attractive body then you can have supplement for life extension. I also purchased some supplements and protein tablets for using life extension Promo Codes you can also save your money.

  • artistoappdownload
    Posted at 03:25h, 16 January Reply

    good also results to modify images like artwork or oil repainted. Artistopicture modifying application primarily introduced for iphone devices. Artistoapp can work with all type of tools. nice.

  • Kodi App
    Posted at 05:20h, 06 February Reply

    Great With having more than numerous subscribers, Kodi stands as a leading libraries that provides an enormous media collection. Fine.

  • default search engine
    Posted at 08:37h, 16 February Reply

    To make the change in the window that have the quality to make the change in the search engine and default setting will be as a website tat deal with the method to get free setting in the new changing generation of the window that i really appreciate.

  • bandarq
    Posted at 09:42h, 24 February Reply

    Well great share in this article, for either small or big businesses can definitely have better understand with this article….

  • tempat jajan murah
    Posted at 04:39h, 28 February Reply

    Please visit us if you are looking for a good food, please come and visit us

    • bandar ceme
      Posted at 05:07h, 01 March Reply

      Writing a good post is almost like an art, and a paradox; a good post should be short, but it should also be descriptive.

  • komal varshney
    Posted at 04:14h, 15 March Reply

    This is very nice

  • kuliner jakarta
    Posted at 05:41h, 16 March Reply

    Thanks for this post. Keep sharing this valuable content.
    This looks beautiful.

  • download psiphon
    Posted at 04:02h, 02 April Reply

    Pleasant to be going by your website afresh, it has been months for me. Well this article ive been sat tight for accordingly long. i need this article to complete my task inside of the personnel, and it has same subject together with your article. Much appreciated, decent share.

  • Steve
    Posted at 06:38h, 04 April Reply

    A fascinating dialog is value remark. I feel that it is best to compose more on this matter, it may not be an unthinkable theme however more often than not people are insufficient to chat on such subjects. To the following. Salud. Hero Instinct

  • Boy names starting with A
    Posted at 03:01h, 05 April Reply

    I enjoyed over read your blog post. Your blog have nice information, I got good ideas from this amazing blog. I am always searching like this type blog post. I hope I will see again.

  • Keoron
    Posted at 08:25h, 10 April Reply

    I have as of late begun a website, the data you give on this webpage has helped me extraordinarily. Much obliged for the greater part of your time and work. Love Commands Review

  • ehtisham
    Posted at 04:24h, 16 April Reply

    Pleasant to be going by your web journal again, it has been months for me. Well this article ive been sat tight for consequently long. i need this article to complete my task inside of the staff, and it has same subject together with your article. Much obliged, pleasant offer.
    Questions To Ask A Guy Over Text

  • Smith
    Posted at 08:20h, 16 April Reply

    Much obliged to you for some other enlightening site. The spot else might just I understand that sort of data written in such a flawless strategy? I have an endeavor that I am essentially now running on, and I’ve been at the look out for such information. How To Kiss A Man To Make Him Fall In Love

  • Agen Domino
    Posted at 12:24h, 16 April Reply

    this is good article yessss…

  • Smith
    Posted at 15:33h, 16 April Reply

    Appreciating the time and exertion you put into your site and nitty gritty data you offer!.. Kissing Magic

  • máy lọc nước công nghệ nhật bản
    Posted at 02:34h, 26 April Reply

    Hiện nay. máy lọc nước ion kiềm được sử dụng rất nhiều, bởi nguồn nước của việt nam không đủ để đảm bảo sức khỏe chính vì thế giải pháp thay thế hiện nay đó là sử dụng nước uống ion life . Bởi nó đẹm lại khoáng chất rất cho sức khỏe

  • snaptub
    Posted at 02:20h, 02 June Reply

    different formats consisting of avi, flv, and mp4. Downloading and install with Cube Lite app is fast, many thanks an efficient code under the hood.You could download greater

Post A Comment

Sign up for all of Jon’s ideas in your inbox!

Yes! Send Me Jon’s New Blog Ideas

Get All of Jon's New Ideas!

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit