Realizing you don’t fit into the system is a scary thing.
Career books for instance are not funny.
They are serious tomes of serious thinking. They must be boring, dry and dull to have any impact.
Laughter is the best medicine, but not when it comes to your job. Work is no place for laughter, joy or happiness.
And so I wrote a serious first draft of my latest book Do Over. My wife read it and said, “Where are you in this?”
I told her, “I’m fitting in the system now. I wear belts and use big, difficult to pronounce words. I’m a serious guy who does serious things.”
“But you’re funny. That’s who you are. That’s what’s natural to you. That’s what in an unbridled, nobody is watching moment you care about the most. You don’t fit in the system.” Jenny said to me.
Hearing that for the first time was overwhelming. The system felt safe. When you step outside the system, you get worried that people will say, “That’s not how it’s done. Nobody does it that way.”
College students can’t change majors so late in college.
Stay at home moms can’t start businesses.
People in their 40s don’t get to chase completely different careers.
The system has so many rules.
Realizing you don’t fit into the system is a scary thing. At first.
Until you realize the system is not THE way, it’s just A way.
It’s one of a million ways.
And guess what, you have the permission to choose the way you take.
We don’t need you to fit into the system. The system is full. We need people brave enough to escape the system and show all of us it can be done.
I didn’t write a funny first draft of my new book because I was afraid to fight the system.
But then people like my wife wouldn’t let me write a safe book.
Did the final draft of Do Over end up being funny? Well, here’s what comedian Jim Gaffigan said about it:
“Do Over is funny, insightful and well-written. Three reasons I resent Jon Acuff.” – Jim Gaffigan
Should you buy it today
You should if you’re tired of trying to fit into the system.
I’m glad your wife knows you so well because without the humor the book would have been good, with the humor it is great! And, I felt like it was you talking, not just a book like everyone else’s.
“That’s not how it’s done. Nobody does it that way”
This line reminded me of something that I went through recently. I gave birth to a baby three months prematurely. He spent 11 weeks in the NICU. During that time he became anemic and one of his neonatologists wanted to give him a blood transfusion, something my husband and I did not want to do. We fought back and forth on the subject. I had read a book written by a doctor about premature babies that recommended EPO (erythropoietin) to prevent and treat anemia.
The Dr used the line above. “Nobody practices that way.”
We held our ground, shared the info, found peer-reviewed medical jounals that supported it, got a consult from a specialist. They put him on iron instead.
He’s fine.
Screw the system. It’s probably broken anyway.
This message is right no time for me. I don’t fit into the “system”. I never have and this year, I made the decision to stop trying and instead make my own way. Great message. I am looking forward to the new book.
Phew! I can now safely finish reading Do Over since it is endorsed by Jim Gaffigan! Seriously though, love the book so far. You mentioned passing organic chemistry as the gateway to getting into medical school. I loved organic chemistry, and I love medicine. I feel like this validates me in some way 🙂 P.S. Jenny is awesome.
Great reminder. It made me think of a comment I got on my blog once. A lady blogger left a comment saying she was just amazed at how many men bloggers would comment on my stuff. I found that to be a weird comment. I had never thought about it before. But I realized a long time ago that the topics I tend to write about are ones I hope resonate with both men and woman… (not to mention coffee drinkers, and grace addicts 😉 ) I don’t want my blog to just be read by woman…so sometimes it’s a challenge know where I “fit”
To not fitting into the system! Looking forward to reading your book Jon!!
Most of my life I have fought against the system. It’s tough and scary. There is constant pressure to conform and that little (sometimes big) voice inside that says the narrow path is too risky. But, then I am reminded that when you fight the system you stand out. When I finally became comfortable being me, it all made more sense. I truly believe God made us all unique for a reason.
Great post Jon! Jenny is dead on. I have spent my entire adult life on trying to find ways out of the “40 hour per week job” system. I’m just now starting to really make a strong plan. Thank you for all of your encouragement.
Jon – Thanks for the continual reminder that even at 44 I can do whatever I want. I can change careers if I want to. Thanks for the Monday morning push.
You are blessed to have a fabulous wife, Jon! #HUGS Please give my our cushiest hugs!
Thanks for giving us the permission to step out of the system <3
Kitto
I have really enjoyed reading your blogs and thoughts for a number of years.
You have given me new ways to look at life and “surrender to Christ.”
Lately, you have spent little time focusing on insights of life and Christ.
Everything seems centered on your book.
I miss your viewpoints.
Thanks for the feedback Renny! A few years ago I decided to focus my blogs and books on helping people with their careers and then share my faith ideas in live settings when I get to speak at churches, camps or Christian colleges.
Can you elaborate on this decision to separate the two? I too have wondered why your faith is absent from your “career” books. It would seem to me that you can have an even larger platform for the kingdom if you tie career work (something Christians often struggle with) into working for Christ. I figure most of your readers are probably Christians already, so why the need to hide the light and make it just about business?
Thank you. Again. For saying the words I need to hear today.
Love this. Can’t get a better compliment from a funnier guy. Well done, man.
It’s definitely a “DIY” world in many ways these days, isn’t it? When you step outside the system, there aren’t any road maps. Each of us gets to decide if carving our own trail is “scary” or “exhilarating”. Same chemicals released in the body – different interpretations.
Hanging out with Trailblazers – or people who aspire to be Trailblazers – is a ton of fun. And as your wife so deliciously reminded you – it’s simple (not necessarily easy). In the end. Just be yourself.
Many of us should probably have that tattooed on our foreheads! 🙂
Funny? “Do Over” is hilarious! Good call on this one, Jenny.
Already pre-ordered. Can’t wait to read it.
High praise from Jim Gaffigan. BACON!!
you have no idea how timely this is. This is me my whole life and now that I have teenagers, I was feeling punky last night thinking that they don’t fit in either. LIke they were missing out on stuff. And then I read this and I realized how lucky I am to not fit in!
Yeah for stay at home moms starting a business! I often feel like I don’t fit the mold, not everyone “gets” me. That’s one reason my sister and I started our podcast geared toward mom’s starting a business, we wanted to connect with people who did get us. By the way, I’m so glad you’re funny! And boy do you have a wise wife!
I think you’ve touched on the reason I could never be a “serious” CEO. There is a colossal bag of irony to be had in most organizations. And I consider it fair game to discuss such topics with my staff. People do goofy things for goofy reasons–why is it taboo in the boardroom? Being in a meeting with an executive wanna’ be, who lies in wait for the perfect moment to bounce with some commanding pronouncement sucks the joy out of the room. You get more warmth from a cadaver.
Or, maybe I just need a Do Over.
I haven’t deleted my email from this post that came a month ago. It’s because I keep going back, re-clicking it, and re-reading the post. I love not fitting into the system, but you are correct. It is a scary thing…. At first. There’s a story about the perfect timing on this post, and perhaps I’ll share it with you one day. Thanks, Jon.